BY ALISON GENDAR - Friday, September 14th, 2007 'The New York Daily News'
Police recruits continue to bail out of the NYPD's training academy - putting at risk a crimefighting technique credited with slashing the city's murder rate.
Statistics show 165 members of July's 1,131-strong entering class have dropped out - about 14.6%.
Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly has told the City Council the department's successful Operation Impact program will be at risk if the NYPD can't graduate at least 800 recruits per class.
If the attrition rate holds among the remaining 966 recruits, the NYPD class will fall below 800 graduates.
Rookies said the reality of the $25,100 starting salary has sent them running out the door.
"You get those first paychecks, and suddenly you realize that doing the right thing - protecting your city - doesn't pay anything," said a 27-year-old recruit who dropped out after two months for a better-paying job in a shoe store.
"All your patriotism goes out the window when you can't pay the rent," the former recruit said.
The attrition rate is higher than the two-month dropout rate for the January 2007 and July 2006 classes. Those classes lost 11.5% and 13.6%, respectively, in the first two months and 23% and 20% by graduation.
Kelly assigns two-thirds of each graduating academy class to high-crime areas, flooding cops into trouble spots.
A graduating class of 800 or less will cover regular attrition, and there won't be enough bodies left for Operation Impact, Kelly has said.
A recent New York University study credited the Impact technique with driving crime rates down in the targeted zones, which in turn has pushed murder and overall crime to historic lows.
The city is on track to have fewer than 500 murders this year.
An arbitration panel dropped the NYPD starting salary to $25,100 starting with the class of January 2006. The pay jumps to $32,813 once the new cops graduate from the academy.
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I Instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient. Now they are long and saggy.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarction. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered.. Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis, OR
6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a woman I asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
Submitted by RN no name
AND FINALLY!!!................
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
This Doctor wouldn't submit his name
